Moms, It Doesn’t All Depend on You

Related imageThis post is for parents who obsess. (Moms, maybe I’m sexist but in my experience it’s often us, thus the title.)

Listen, it’s not your fault.  Some of it’s because you love your kids so stinkin’ much.  I’ve been known to say to my husband, “I’m sick of loving them this much.”  What I really mean is I’m sick of having parts of my soul walking around in four different people like some sort of weird Harry Potter horcruxes.   Kids don’t want to be the bearers of parts of their old moms’ hearts, but no one ever asked them, or us for that matter.  It’s just how it works.

Moms get to love their kids more than anyone even wants them to.  They get to be affected by the emotional and physical and spiritual status of their children.  They get to ache, rejoice, laugh, and cry according to the experience of the ones they love.  It’s quite a job description.

And an extraordinary privilege.  God loves us more than we will ever love him.  He absorbed our sin.  He extended forgiveness.  His steadfast love never leaves us.  Reflecting love like that is the honor of a lifetime, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

But it can go bad, and every panicked, worrying mom knows how this works.  Our desire to help and encourage and support slowly morphs into a driving quest to control and manipulate and accomplish things that are only meant for God.  We try to be little mom-bodied gods.  Yuck.

Listen moms, the welfare of our children doesn’t all depend on us.  No matter how hard we push, research, remind, and cajole, we may not be able to get their lives to go from Point A to Point B in a gorgeous OCD line.  And that could be because God’s best path for them is a circuitous, strength-building, scenic one.

I’m exhorting the mirror. (True confession: I wrote this post, worried my head off about something later in the day, and now I’m posting it.)  I really need a mile high sticky note in my face saying…

Moms, God is good and we don’t love our kids more than he does.  I know it blows our minds, but God’s ways are actually better than ours.  It takes a minute for that to sink in to the dry soil of worry and fear, but it’s wonderfully refreshing when it does.

So let’s teach, encourage, pray for, love, nourish, and support these ones we love, as we TRUST… say it with me, TRUST… that God is always good and always in control.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me [and them];
    your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Ps 138:8


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